


Broken Memories

by Wild_Youth69



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex Danvers Needs a Hug, Alex nearly kills Kara, F/F, Kara and Alex go through shit, Nobody Dies, Other, but don't worry, dont say i didn't warn you, i spent ages making these tags then accidentally closed the window, im done with these tags, major angst, major trigger warning, the ending hits hard, there was more before but i'm an idiot, this is my first book
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-10-31 12:35:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17849585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wild_Youth69/pseuds/Wild_Youth69
Summary: Set after the mind wipe to save Supergirl's loved ones from Haley, Alex is the acting Director of the DEO and is on a mission to capture Supergirl. She sets a trap and everything goes smoothly until she realises that the woman dying in her arms is really the sister that she'd sworn to protect. Major angst and some realisations later, and Alex spirals into a depression, possibly ending in, well more angst.{MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING. SORRY IN ADVANCE ABOUT THE ENDING}





	Broken Memories

**Kara's POV**

I trudged into my apartment and laid on my couch. Today had been particularly hard, with Snapper on my case about every misplaced comma in my article, I needed to relax. Knowing my life, I shouldn't have expected any less than what was to come.

Screams. Just a heap of screams coming from a few miles East from what I could tell. I rolled my eyes and stood up, speeding into my costume so I could get to the source of the misery as soon as possible. When I landed in between a long row of shipping containers, I noticed that all of the screams stopped. All I heard now was silence, then a gun cocking. 

"Supergirl. My trap worked." I spun to see a familiar face, with a less familiar look. Still, she looked so pretty with her new hair and badass outfit. It made me a little proud to see her as the head of the DEO like this, even if she is my big sister. Then her words kicked in and my smile faded. 

"Alex?" I asked, cautiously taking a few steps forward, more than aware that there was Kryptonite in the gun that was pointed at me. 

"That's Director Danvers to you." She said simply and with no emotion. "I've told you before."

"Alright,  _Director Danvers._ What are you doing here? And what do you mean by 'trap'?"

"You walked, or rather flew, right into a trap I've been setting up for weeks. You have been interfering with DEO business for far too long. When you risked my life, used your heat vision to save a hostile, I knew I had to do something about you." She spat her words as if I was a threat to her entire existence. Seeing her this angry at me was almost enough to make me cry. It took a lot of energy to stop myself from breaking down. I knew I had to keep my cover. 

"You were going to shoot an innocent man!"

"I've been studying your biology. I found a sample of your blood and tested it against any weapon I could find at the DEO. Turns out, and I shouldn't have been surprised, that you're vulnerable around something called Kryptonite." She placed a finger over the trigger and I knew at that moment that she was serious about this. 

"Alex please."

"Director. Danvers."

"No, Alex!" I yelled, trying to get her to see. "Listen to my voice. You recognise it right? The way I say your name? Tell me you can't see it."

"See what?" She was about to lower her gun, so I took a leap of faith. It wasn't until I was pulling away from the hug that I'd sped into that I realised she'd pulled the trigger at some point. I collapsed into her, feeling her arms tighten around me. "Kara..." I nodded, wincing in pain. The bullet had torn through my chest and was lodged probably in a rib. "Oh, God. What did I do?"

"I..It's okay."

"No, it's not. Hang on, I'm going to take you to the DEO."

"N..no ti..me," I stuttered. The pain was almost unbearable and if Alex hadn't have been here, I probably would already have let go. I put a hand, that was covered in blood, over her hand that was holding me around my shoulders. She put her other hand over my wound and sat me up further. "Is th...this w..when I st...start singing?" She laughed half-heartedly and held me closer. "Love you." I slurred and closed my eyes.

"You're going to make it, I promise.  _Just let me fig_..." That was the last thing I heard, my sister's voice reassuring me. It felt as though I was suspended in mid-air. The darkness was overwhelming but there was a certain warmth to it. Suddenly, a light filled my vision and I was greeted by my gods.

 

**Alex's POV**

"You're going to make it, I promise. Just let me figure this out. I'll get you to a hospital or something." She'd stopped moving so I assumed she had relaxed from her frantic state. But when I looked down to see her eyes closed and chest completely still, I panicked. "Kara!" I called. Obviously, I got no answer. "No!" I said, stubbornly and forcefully. I'm not losing my sister, especially not because of something I did. 

"Alex?" I looked towards the voice, it was Lena. "Is she..." I saw her jaw clench and a few tears spring from her eyes. 

"No." I picked my little sister up, careful to support her head while I ran to the nearest hospital. "Someone help!" My voice echoed through the otherwise quiet waiting room. Several nurses and doctors took her from my arms and placed her down on a table. 

Seven hours, I waited. Seven long, hard hours of staring at the ground. Lena had found where I'd ran off to and brought me coffee and food but I didn't touch any of it. It seemed selfish to eat or drink while she was in there fighting for her life. After several attempts, Lena gave up trying to force me to eat and just sat beside me, holding my still bloodied hand. 

"She'll be okay. It's our Supergirl, she's a fighter."

"Yeah... Supergirl..." Tears rolled down my cheeks and Lena turned to look at me.

"May I ask why you care for her so much? Is it because she's so close with Kara?"

"Lena, there's something you should know."

 

**Kara's POV**

It'd felt like forever since I'd left Rao's Light. Maybe that was just a dream, because I was now alive, listening to my big sister's racing heartbeat beside me. Her voice kept cutting in and out as I probably kept losing consciousness. It felt like I'd been asleep for hours, which to me was a lot. Little did I know...

"...and J'onn explained to me the whole thing" darkness and silence "Lena wanted to talk to you about" the lack of her voice was slowly killing me "then Maggie showed up, I was confused." She laughed, and then her voice faded again. It didn't take me long to realise that I was in a coma and that I had been for a while. 

As the weeks went by, it became second nature to 'wake up', really I was just becoming slightly more conscious, then listen to Alex drone on about the most random of things. Then the doctors would tell her that visitation was over and I'd feel that cold feeling in my hand that you get when someone you love has just left after being really close for a while. Usually, I'd fall back to sleep and wake up to Alex's voice, but not her face.

This time, however, I woke up to bright lights and my usually strong, stoic big sister crying while clutching my hand. 

 

**Alex's POV**

"It's been so long, Kara." I looked down at her hand that was tightly held by both of mine. "Can't you just come home?"

"But it's so nice and warm in this bed." I looked up and couldn't help but smile. Kara was looking at me. Her eyes were open, she was awake. "You didn't think I'd be gone for long, did you?" She croaked. I got up to get her some water, coming back to her side almost immediately. 

"You were gone for just short of a month. The doctors thought it was permanent."

"It's okay. I'm okay now. Stop crying." I reluctantly let go of her hand to wipe my face of the tears I didn't even know were there. "So it's been a month?" I smiled at her.

"We don't have to talk about that right now, just rest." I stroked her hand softly with my thumb as she relaxed and looked at me. "What?"

"Nothing, it's just... I missed you."

"You're the one who's been asleep, Kara."

"No, I mean..." She stuttered and rolled her eyes. "I missed the real you. Not the one who didn't know I was Supergirl and that my favourite movie isn't Terminator."

"I'm sorry, but that movie rocks!" We both laughed and I could tell that things were already seeming normal for her. Not me though. 

"Kara..." I swallowed hard, knowing that this conversation was one we both dreaded but needed to happen soon. "I shot you."

"You shot Supergirl. Before you knew it was me."

"I should have figured it out." I looked down, almost in tears. "I'm sorry that I didn't figure it out."

"I thought you said J'onn told you everything."

"You heard that?"

 

**Kara's POV**

"Kind of...." I was cut off by a certain woman that I loved knocking down about a dozen doctors to get into the room. "Lena!"

"Oh, Kara!" She pulled me into a hug. I didn't even realise the aching in my chest until I was laying back down. "Honey, I thought we'd lost you."

"Nah, Alex will have to try harder than that to kill me!" I chuckled but could tell that there was an awkward silence. "What?"

"It's a little too soon, Kara." Lena looked at Alex, who closed her eyes. 

"Sorry."

 

**A month later**

"Kara, on your right." I dodged the punch and ducked, making the alien on my right hit the one that I was trying to take down. Then I flew into the air and trapped them both in a ring of fire using my heat vision. "Kara, they can fly." 

I sighed and trapped them in ice using my freeze breath instead. "Better?"

"Close enough."

"Hey Alex, uh... you on for movie night tonight?"

"No, I need to actually go to work for once. Haley is going to kill me if she finds out we're working together." I rolled my eyes and sighed out an 'okay' before heading home.

The next night, Alex knocked on my door, holding potstickers in one hand and balancing three pizza boxes on the other arm. "You're the best." I smiled and took the pizza. "Is this your apology?"

"Yeah, I felt really bad about last night." I smiled even more, but her smile faded. "I also can't get that night out of my head."

"What night?"

"When I-God..." She started crying so I sped to her side of my kitchen and held her until she calmed down. 

"Alex, seriously, it's okay." I didn't know how else to comfort her so I just kept hugging her. "I am okay. You didn't know it was me."

"But I should have."

"Do we have to go over this? J'onn? Erased memory?" She looked down and nodded. "Exactly. Stop blaming yourself."

"Alright."

 

**Alex's POV**

The moment I got home, I immediately grabbed a bottle of wine. I did take a class from the cupboard but it wasn't necessary as I just ended up drinking directly out of the bottle. Protecting my little sister was my number one priority in life. If I hurt her, that's not on an erased memory, that's on me. 

 

It had been many months and I'd only gone out of my house to see Kara. Whenever I went to see her, I'd take an hour to make myself look as normal as possible so that she didn't know anything was wrong. I quit working at the DEO a few weeks ago, knowing that I wasn't going back. J'onn had tried coming over a few times but had evidently given up after I ignored him every time I heard the knock and subsequent "Alex, you should talk to us."

Now, today, Kara was supposed to be coming over. But in cleaning up, I found a sharp knife under a pizza box. If I couldn't protect Kara, I had no purpose. That was my only thought. I'd hurt my little sister and I needed to be punished.

It didn't hurt so much as felt like a relief. Because now she was safe. She was safe from me.

Kara was safe. 

**Author's Note:**

> So this was my first book. I accidentally closed the window before I saved any of this the first time so this is my second time writing everything. I was pretty much finished I just didn't save it ugh.  
> The actual story itself, I'd already written it and saved it in Wattpad, so I didn't need to rewrite that, which is lucky.  
> Please comment and stuff, idk how AO3 really works atm, so let me know stuff  
> Wow I'm so good at this (not really)  
> Alright, thanks for reading :)


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